I didn’t expect much when I carelessly scattered a packet of wildflower seeds into an old rusted wheelbarrow last month. I’d planted the seeds in May, saving space up front for some dahlia tubers that my neighbor gifted me. Several weeks after planting the tubers, there were still no signs of growth in my wheelbarrow garden.

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It had been several years since I’d grown dahlias in my garden — the last time, they bloomed with no help from me. I suspect that a ground squirrel had planted them, and they became glorious dinner plate dahlias with yellow centers and pink edges that lasted until November. I love the surprises nature provides!

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This year, our summer has gotten off to a slow start in the Pacific Northwest with recent high temperatures in the 60s. But the weekend’s onslaught of rain made my wildflowers double in size. No blooms yet, but many green leafy stalks. So much for the summer solstice.

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It had been several weeks since I’d planted the dahlia tubers, and so far, no progress. If they didn’t bloom this summer, I’d wait until next year, knowing that sometimes plants need a season to get acclimated to new surroundings. It wouldn’t be the first time I was made to wait.

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I’m getting pretty good at waiting. When I left my full-time job a couple of months ago, I knew it would take some time for me to find my next great fit. I applied for jobs intensively during the first few weeks and became increasingly discouraged. My gifts and talents didn’t seem to be a good fit for any of the roles I applied for. Some employers sent me an instant rejection. After several weeks of that treatment, I decided to take a break, focusing on other things, such as publishing my book, updating my website, and participating in writing contests.

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And then, I had a discussion with my daughter, who has built a successful career as an esthetician. She’s busy setting goals and trying new things, fully aware that the physical demands of her job may lead to a career change down the line. So, she’s signed up for a sound bath meditation training in Seattle this summer, thinking it will be something she can offer to her existing clients and build on in years to come.

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Sound bath meditation is an immersive experience that uses therapeutic sound waves to promote relaxation, healing, and mindfulness. She’ll play instruments such as singing bowls, gongs, and chimes to help her clients relax and release tension. Of course, I’m very excited to participate! And even if it doesn’t turn into a career move, it will be a fun experience for her clients.

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When she mentioned her goals for her future self, I reflected on my own goals.

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I’d been stuck in a mindset that whispered I had no value or marketable skills, nothing to offer the world. But that’s not true. I’d achieved many goals, one of which was to write a book. Since 2020, I’ve written and self-published three. One of the reasons I left my full-time job earlier in the year was that I wanted to focus on my writing practice and rediscover the joy and art of creating stories. I’d become burned out, and my creative juices had dried up. It wasn’t writer’s block. I felt lifeless, worn out, unrested, and completely unsatisfied. So, I made a bold move and left the environment that had been holding me back from growing and producing beauty.

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When I saw the green life poking out of the wheelbarrow this morning, I was overjoyed. Just like me, those would-be blooms had to sit in darkness for a bit, take root in their new surroundings, and absorb the nutrients from the sun, soil, and rain. And in their perfect timing, they will bloom.

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I imagine baby pink petals opening wide in the morning sunlight — bold, beautiful, and unapologetic. That’s how I want to feel in my next role: seen, useful, and thriving. I will continue to put my best foot forward by sending out applications and following up. Like the dahlias, I’m trusting that something beautiful is forming beneath the surface even if I can’t see it yet. In the meantime, I’ll put energy towards what I love – stringing words together into hopeful stories to motivate myself and others while I wait.